SUMMONING THE SQUADRON

So apparently he’s back then.  Cast away by three of meanest snakes in town, only to return once more…..

And if the rumours are true, he’s come back at the worst possible time.

There are plans afoot for TGK’s birthday. She was born on a leap year so technically she’s the wrinkliest nine year old in the county!

 Any way Jock lovers we all know what happened last August when He decided to steal top secret defence department kit and shoot it at us.  Furthermore, cast your minds back to Frank’s birthday when he decided to burn down half the farm, in order to kill off a Bison heard.

Usually when he is around and there are parties or special events he fucking ruins them.

A couple of days ago I was in the woods, With Discount Dennis, The Black Mamba and Dave the Piercer. We were hiding as all I had done was ask Discount if he should have been hibernating this winter, when we were in the pub.

I think he took it as an insult to his manliness as he is the only black person on the farm now. As well as being hot blooded or whatever he’s not with main stream on the colour stakes.

But he needs to chill the fuck the out. It’s been well cold lately and if I needed to bed down for a few months in order to escape it I would! Also,  I’m pink for heaven’s sake… and will be right up till grass cutting season. Mind you my cocks still as big and as black as they come, smash it.

Any way it all got too much for him and he started throwing tables and chairs around, trapped some OAP’s in the cellar, bit the pub cat and turned it to fucking stone!

Generaljimmi was not a Happy Pumpkin!

That guy’s got issues and needs a fucking haircut.

So we made a run for it and carried on our conversation about how to deal with a certain prodigal returner. Dave the Piercer was fucking useless at coming up with any ideas. He’d literally downed five Malibu and diet cokes in the first half hour we were there… what a faggot. For a gay, he’s not overly camp most of the time, until he gets Malibu in him, then he turns into the worst example of arse taker bender you could ever observe.

Discount was all testosterone or whatever the snake equivalent is.... Talking a load of shit if you ask me. I’ve seen you know who in action and back in the autumn I was surprised I did one when those three snakes stepped up. If I were Discount, I’d be worried.

Deep down I remember thinking that he may have been calling our bluff…

But any way as those two wankers were no help and  little old me had to come up with a plan… again! I’ve literally run out of spies, mystical beings and black mamba’s  to get me out of the shit this time..

So what with it being TGK’s birthday at the end of the month I need to kill two birds with one stone…by calling in some big birds… yes you got it folks… I’m going to plan a surprise party for her and invite her old squadron…Not even the Dark One can manoeuvre his way out of twelve warplanes…. I feel the need, the need for speed!