Well now Jock Strapper’s…
A year last Friday saw the first
anniversary of my life going viral. I joined Twitter on May 5th 2012
and have never looked back. A month or so afterwards, I posted my first blog
entry and subsequently became dual platform! You can have a read of the first
entry once more below!
My message was to give you guys an insight
into what makes me tick. Not from the perspective of my behavioral problems but
on a deeper level. I wanted to let you know how I feel about issues that impact
on contemporary farming. I also wanted to publicise other concerns that us country
folks have, such as gypsy cunts and rural crime.
I wanted to give you an insight into how
multiculturalism works in a countryside setting…. and believe you me I didn’t
get to where I am today just because of my black ass alone folks!
And lastly I wanted to be open about my
social experiences. My friends mean the world to me and the characters that
live in my neck of the woods never fail to delight. I have doen this to the extreme and long may this continue Jock
Strapper’s because the original formula is going into year two baby!!!!!
So, as there are shenanigans a plenty
still going down on my farm I thought I would give you a lil tease about what’s
on the horizon for my weekly blog entries…
Social Networking:
OK, so I’ve What’s App’ed pictures of my
cock to each member of the cow heard five times this year already! Well who
hasn’t?! I have an abundance of easy to use, touch apps for iphone that enhance
every contour of my bullhood! At the touch of button my cock can be chromed,
cropped, coloured and crafted to the high standards of any voyeuristic rambler
this side of the Salisbury Plane! A Bulls gotta experiment after all.
That said What’s App is for private usage
only folks. I am going to remain doing weekly blogs on Blogger.com and also
tweet little fragments of interest to you as and when…
Jockthebull.blogspot.co.uk
twitter.com/JockTheBull
Frank The Peacock will return!
Last October my best friend Frank had to
disappear and blend in like only he could. He had to covertly infiltrate god
knows who in god knows which hellhole, god knows where. He had to go into deep cover
and be totally discrete, like only a peacock with his skills could do.
Word has got to me that he has nearly
finished his mission and that he is OK! I cant tell you too much about this Jock
Strapper’s, as we still don’t know all the facts and there could be issues of
national security to contend with. But rest assured Jock Strapper’s: As soon as
Frank’s back, I will be publishing full details of his welcome home party, what
he has been up to as well as some proper man love for him on this very platform!
I will be doing more reviews on farm
machinery:
Big farm kit is where its at folks! And I
love tractor porn on a cataclysmic scale. There are going to be some
interesting developing on the ag. Equipment front this year, topped off with
what can only be described as the farm machinery Mecca: The by-annual
Agritechnica Event in Hannover, Germany this autumn. All the players are there
in full effect cutting deals and showing off their wears.
Last time I did a published review I
posted a commentary on the mighty Class Lexion 780:
Out of Africa:
A new incumbent has arrived on the farm.
He’s a bit a full on and he’s come here all the way from fucking Africa of all
places. A recent Youtube documentary referred to him as “soooo nasty”! and “out
of his fucking mind” ! He should fit right in on this farm. In all seriousness
though Jock Strapper’s this new dude literally eats Cobra for breakfast.... and
lunch! Bandit the Honey Badger is in full effect here on the farm and already
getting into some right royal scrapes! Expect to see him feature in the near
future…
The Adder Bites!
Jerry the Adder is a top bloke. And if
snakes could grow pencil moustaches and work in the RAF in the 1940’s all over
again, he would be there! As squadron leader! I want to use Jerry more as he is
a mate of mine with a wise old head on his snake version of shoulders. I may
get him to do a monthly segment…It would be amusing yet insightful at the same
time!
My guide to Bulls:
So I’m an Aberdeen Angus, im strong, good
looking and black. But beware the Dutch destroyers people! Friesian Bulls pack
a punch! I will let you into a little secret here Jock Strapper’s.. Once one of
the motherfuckers came up to me and said he had a greater cock than me! So just
to prove him wrong I argued quantity over quality and shagged all the farms and
the neighboring farms cattle in a 12 hour marathon style jizz fest!
My cock was raw! Raw I’m telling you! Mad
Harry The Vet was rubbing Sudocrem into it for the next seven days! Turns out
the Friesian cunt was spinning me a yarn all along….. And that’s them all over,
cunning buggers! Sooner see with a red raw cock then a slow comfortable screw.
You need to know these facts about bull breeds people! And I’m the bull to
inform you, impartially and without prejudice of course….
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Knuckles: Rising
So we saw a side to this dark war lord
that we thought we would never see. The clumsy twat dropped his diary as he
flew over and I made it available for you all to see!
Turns out he does give a shit and he’s got
a sparkly secret. Rest assured though the dark bastard is back to his old
self. In the last week alone he has hijacked a BT Openreach van and took the
engineer prisoner until BT upped the rural broadband speeds in the area. Furthermore, some fly tipping gypsy cunts got his full wrath midweek when Dorset police’s helicopter failed to intercept
them. They are now talking mushish whilst hanging naked and upside down from a
weather vein…… in Inverness.
Who is Sparkles The Magpie? You will find
out.
So until next week Jock Strapper’s… When
you will find out what happened when Big King Tom met his first Bandit……
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4r7wHMg5Yjg
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