My life seems to have gone viral. I have decided to join the rat race and get me a twitter account. Besides I need to put a few things straight as I keep getting misunderstood and I fucking hate Facebook, so Twitter it is.
I am a top whack Aberdeen Angus stud bull with absolutely massive balls and a truly monumental penis. My job is to shag cows on a daily basis so they can make calves, so you can eat burgers. Fair deal. Although I keep getting misrepresented. My racial heritage is one that was built for flavour. I say built… as us blackies have been socially engineered over the years and I’m guessing some Scottish cunts had the last word on our lineage.
I am not Scottish. I’m not a big fan of Scottish people and if you asked me to eat a battered mars bar I would feed you to Knuckles The Magpie… which brings me on to another reason for joining Twitter: To take the fucking piss out of my mates, down on the farm; in Dorset. Yep I’m Dorset born Dorset bread strong in the rump in great in bed!
Currently I enjoy hanging out with Top Gun Kes, Dave The Piercer, Cut n Paste Wayne, Handsome James, Fat Fuck Farmer and his red thong wearing-orgasm faking wife, Frank The Peacock and of course Knuckles The Magpie. Speaking of which, Knuckles is one truly dark bastard…He will have the rings off your fingers in no time and once even tried to steal my fucking nose ring! Any way Top Gun Kes called the police and he had to do a three month stretch as he had previous, which he won’t disclose; the fucking nonce.
The farm is massive and has an impressive fleet of John Deere tractors. I once ate my own body weight in magic mushrooms and then thought the tractors were actually alive and called John. When they didn’t reply – or move, I buried them thinking they were dead. Then Fat Fuck Farmer got arrested for insurance fraud and was made to dig them up. He lost 3 stone that weekend. He’s still fat.
The farmer likes to diversify his business as agriculture is a rapidly changing industry. He now has a heard of bison. I though they would be really cool and up for a laugh, but they are complete fuck wits. I was in their field the other night wanting a kick about, but they just wanted to play rugby. Gaylords.
Just out of the farm there is a quaint little village. I go down there from time to time stampeding. It’s ok down there but not a whole lot of laughs. I once shagged the vicar’s wife… to be fair I thought she would be better. I think I will try the vicar out later this summer, possibly after harvest.
So as you can see I have plenty to Tweet about. Shit happens on a daily basis on this farm and what with me being black and having a massive cock, I get into loads of trouble. Just remember I’m from Dorset and not Scotland and we will get on just fine. – Someone tried to put a Scottish tartan hat on me once – with a ginger bobble – said the pattern was ‘representative of my clan’. He now looks and pisses himself like Stephen Hawkin.
I am a top whack Aberdeen Angus stud bull with absolutely massive balls and a truly monumental penis. My job is to shag cows on a daily basis so they can make calves, so you can eat burgers. Fair deal. Although I keep getting misrepresented. My racial heritage is one that was built for flavour. I say built… as us blackies have been socially engineered over the years and I’m guessing some Scottish cunts had the last word on our lineage.
I am not Scottish. I’m not a big fan of Scottish people and if you asked me to eat a battered mars bar I would feed you to Knuckles The Magpie… which brings me on to another reason for joining Twitter: To take the fucking piss out of my mates, down on the farm; in Dorset. Yep I’m Dorset born Dorset bread strong in the rump in great in bed!
Currently I enjoy hanging out with Top Gun Kes, Dave The Piercer, Cut n Paste Wayne, Handsome James, Fat Fuck Farmer and his red thong wearing-orgasm faking wife, Frank The Peacock and of course Knuckles The Magpie. Speaking of which, Knuckles is one truly dark bastard…He will have the rings off your fingers in no time and once even tried to steal my fucking nose ring! Any way Top Gun Kes called the police and he had to do a three month stretch as he had previous, which he won’t disclose; the fucking nonce.
The farm is massive and has an impressive fleet of John Deere tractors. I once ate my own body weight in magic mushrooms and then thought the tractors were actually alive and called John. When they didn’t reply – or move, I buried them thinking they were dead. Then Fat Fuck Farmer got arrested for insurance fraud and was made to dig them up. He lost 3 stone that weekend. He’s still fat.
The farmer likes to diversify his business as agriculture is a rapidly changing industry. He now has a heard of bison. I though they would be really cool and up for a laugh, but they are complete fuck wits. I was in their field the other night wanting a kick about, but they just wanted to play rugby. Gaylords.
Just out of the farm there is a quaint little village. I go down there from time to time stampeding. It’s ok down there but not a whole lot of laughs. I once shagged the vicar’s wife… to be fair I thought she would be better. I think I will try the vicar out later this summer, possibly after harvest.
So as you can see I have plenty to Tweet about. Shit happens on a daily basis on this farm and what with me being black and having a massive cock, I get into loads of trouble. Just remember I’m from Dorset and not Scotland and we will get on just fine. – Someone tried to put a Scottish tartan hat on me once – with a ginger bobble – said the pattern was ‘representative of my clan’. He now looks and pisses himself like Stephen Hawkin.
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