FOUR FENDT FORAGERS

By Handsome James.

From driverless tractor systems, to design Icons like the Black Beauty, Fendt are truly premium in every sense of the word.

Their equipment costs and absolute bomb, but it depreciates slower and is generally better than the alternatives.

So when they dropped the bomb that they wanted in the forage harvester game, eyebrows were raised everywhere.

The Class Jaguar dominates this area of the kit market.

John Deere and Krone offer reputable alternatives, but the standard assumption is that they are still a way off from matching Classes super cat.

However not long after launch in its native Germany, the Katana achieved an 8 per cent market share!

For a full verdict on how this baby works in the field – have a read of the review on Farmers Guardian……..

http://www.farmersguardian.com/home/machinery/more-machinery-tests/fendt-katana-65-self-propelled-forager-on-test/60889.article

5 BU'UULL RINGS!

Boo!

I’m back in charge of blog output for today! And boy have I got some bollocks to talk to you lot!

The cunting silage has been late every day this week. its been a fucking travesty!

And it doesn’t taste right either; God knows what they are duping me into eating. It’s probably laced with Ritalin; People say I find it hard to behave myself at the best of times.

Oh well, if it carries on like this ill just bust into the grain store, jack up on oats and see what happens – hashtag hugely high bpm.

I do not condone stimulant abuse in way shape or form Jock Strappers!

Any way… How do you think old Handsome is getting on with these ‘Reverse Twelve Days’ then?

What a square arsed bastard.

I just though he was a bit of cunt trying to act cool through wearing suites whilst operating telehandlers and flirting with the management. Turns out he’s one of those fucking weirdo trainspotter types off of Aspergers Syndrome ‘an that

I mean, who gives a fuck about what tractors were pulling what in 1987?

What is he on?

Man there are some fucking weirdo’s round here!

Take the new guy, Frosty Fabio, the Frightened Pheasant! He’s on the run from some gangster type used car dealers from Essex. The poor cunt thinks he’s going to be safe here ?!

I shouldn’t jest really; he gets nervous dandruff, hence the call sign. Anxiety is a killer folks. Don’t be getting that.

If you feel down or a little batshit crazy – just think – WHAT WOULD JOCK DO?

Then drop some bombs and swear – Lots!

Soooo…. Five gold rings then:

Now, I know you are expecting me to say something sexual or deviant or both. Truth is I’m going to discuss something completely different.

My mate Dave the Piercer (who doesn’t feature nearly as much as he should) is a jeweller. And he is gay. But that doesn’t affect his metal craft one bit.

We met when I had a horrendous spat with Mad Harry the vet over appropriate bull ring regalia. Mad Harry is all about hygiene, health, science and that and I’m more like, I need to look cool, powerful, trendy and yet slightly artsy.

I though I don’t need a vet to fit this shit, I need a fucking jeweller!!

So I commissioned Dave the Piercer, (who also does labia on humans by the way) to get involved. He designed me some examples and we had a bit of a consultation vibe. However we ended up listening to Liberty X on loud speaker, on a Samsung Galaxy S2 encrusted by diamanté’s. It was awkward.

But… he designed me a lovely ring for my shnoss and I was happy with the outcome. Problem was it was titanium – so fuck that, that’s what old people get in their hip replacements

Next up – Silver – Gave me a fucking rash!

Then – Gold – Colour was not quite right for my black self…..

So we tried… Surgical Steel – Which reminded me too much of Mad Harry the psycho Vet. PS - I really would like to get jealous when he puts his hand up Ermantrude, but half of me still thinks that she will have grown out of being ticklish by now. #needsarealman - To touch the sides.

So our last hope was… Platinum – Standard.

Yes that’s right Jock Strappers my nose ring is platinum!

Beat that you shabby bunch of cunts!

SIX, 6030'S ARE SEXY!

By Handsome James.

The John Deere 6030 is one of the most attractive tractors ever produced and certainly THE most attractive classic!

It’s also Jock the Bull’s most favourite tractor of all time!

As with many attractive objects it is hard to describe its beauty to a T.

What draws my attention however, is the shark nose design, massive chimney stack (which looks equally as nice in matte black or chrome), thick tyres and hooded roof.

It looks somewhat unconventional to me and I guess that is what really draws me to it

The cabs of the time look nice too, but there is something about the angular lines of the hood, which is connected to the roll bar that capture my attention. It could be jusxtaposing anbdgles of the roll-bar and shark nose. Who knows; its one fit tractor never the less.

My architectural design analysis isn’t at the forefront of my skill set but I can’t help looking at this tractor for a long time whenever I see one!

One day I really hope to evaluate why I’m passionate about certain design ques. As ive started to get more mature, I have begun to notice a link in my appreciation of the design of both mechanical objects and fixed expressions such as large buildings.

Again, this tractor is powered by the sweet six cylinder tones that I really enjoy. I will add a video so you can hear one!

The John Deere 6030 was produced between 1972 and 1977 and  kicks out 175 brake horse power. Some American imports however, have had the flow on their fuel pumps increased, allowing in some cases a boost of around 35hp to 210! this indicates to me they were primarily used as 'haulin machines, pulling cultivators on the prairies! Now thats a life 

:-)