BREAKING THE BAD CYCLE

So I have been away for a few weeks – I know you have missed me.

The climactic events of Halloween have bought a new sense of balance to the farm. The snakes guard the perimeter with a strong sense of authority giving them an active and respected presence in the community.

As November rolls on tasks on the farm get very samey. Early Autumn wet weather put us behind our drilling schedule. However that has since been made up for with some excellent productivity rates from TGK and Cut ‘n’ Paste Wayne behind the wheel of their mighty John Deere’s!

Animals still need tending too but on the arable side, it seems to be time to batten down the hatches somewhat and let winter roll out

It’s a shame really. I remember when harvest seemed like a long affair and now its over in weeks thanks to massive developments in mechanization.

I digress.

I was taking a stroll on top of yonder hill two days ago when I came across a camper van. I couldn’t smell gypsy and I couldn’t smell rambler either. I thought to myself It could be someone nonesing – in which case they were about to meet their maker.

Perhaps someone could have converted it into a mobile drugs lab –  Ahhh there’s one for the back burner  - or should I say Bunsen burner.

God I m good.

As I was walking up to it the side door flung open and out stepped Handsome James in nothing but his pants!

I took one look and quickly complimented him by suggesting he should change his career and become a stock bull like me.

Any way turns out he has moved out of where he was living. I’d never been to his house before but I had heard all sorts of rumors:

These rumors generally involve members of Girls Aloud, cinnamon Yankee Candles and enough whipped cream to sink a dreadnaught.

Handsome James once stole the John Deere dealers Aston Martin and had it painted pink!

He does crazy things every now and then, so I was eager to find out what was going on!

He kept tight lipped on this occasion though. Just stood there in pants and offered me a cup of tea and bun.

He just kept moaning on about branding strategies, union business and shit like that. Seemed to have no fight in him.

Its sods law really; just when you think all is calm again something really strange happens

It was then he came up close to me and asked how I felt about alter ego’s!

I replied by making references to Lilly Savage and Lady GaGa and told him if it was for the right media cause and you were making loads of money it was fine.

I didn’t really want any Frank The Peacock references; I’m keeping all my worries for him well and truly locked up.

Handsome James has got all sorts of form for getting into tricky and difficult situations….

He didn’t say any more on the subject, just slurped his tea and chowed down on a Chelsea bun…..

Needless to say I’m going to monitoring this situation as best as I can…